Jan 09 2009
26, unemployed, back in the US of A, and what the heck i got some hope…
so yesterday (thursday) marked my 6th week back in the u.s. after my 2.5 year on and off stint in australia. looking back on these past 6 weeks i am actually pretty thankful for the rocky transition. if you know me then you know i dont do well with transitions, especially ones of epic proportions like intercontinental relocation.
coming back to america has been an eye opening experience. not in a culture shock type of way (although that happens naturally), but in a self awareness type of way. let me try and explain/expand…
australia kicked serious ass. sunshine, warm pacific waters, deep friendships, spirituality, and a new environment to have fun and thrive in - who can complain. in order to rationalize leaving all that i painted some serious expectations of what coming ‘home’ (baltimore) would look like. job(s), moving to d.c., girls, family … it all lined up and made perfect sense in my mind and played out in a very win-win scenario. but that was just in my head. in reality (where we are meant to function) things have been tough going because my expectations have not been met. failed expectations = dissapoiontment.
and here is where the self realization comes in. a self loathing steve would sit here and tell you how nothing is panning out. and show you how the future looks bleak on so many fronts (baltimore isnt too big or too fun, the job markets arent the most inviting, and i am pretty awkward in the u.s. single scene). but the self loathing steve would be wasting his freaking time and limiting life.
thats where the hopeful steve comes in and kicks some ass. here i stand 26 (although the increasing salty look in my hair would lead you to belive otherwise), a recent masters student, poised for the next (first) big step into the next phase of my life. yeah sure its awkward, intimidating, and unknown - but its exciting all the while. patience is a virtue that i am learning by hands on experience right now and well thats a good thing. why rush into the a situation that i might not want, might not be ready for, or might not be able to handle. stepping back, gaining perspective, being present in the everyday moments, and living a life based around love and hope … thats where its freaking at.
